As we’re all knocking on in years now, it didn’t seem like a strange request – but oooh, Lordy! Where to start? I won’t bore you with the agonising nights and days, drunk and sober, that it took to get this Top 30 together – I’ll just list them. And there’s no explanation as to why, as the deal is that anyone listening to these songs – and who would be attending your funeral – would know EXACTLY why – whether it’s 1 track or all 30. And it’s an interesting test, as I don’t think there’s anyone who would know what all 30 of my 30 are about. But I think that’s the point. But enough of my blethering. Here we go (in no particular sequence or order):

Norwegian Wood – Buddy Rich

Is This The Life? – Cardiacs

Yes – McAlmont & Butler

One Vision – Queen

Exit Music for a Film – Brad Mehldhau Trio

Poses – Rufus Wainwright

On Golden Pond – Dave Grusin

Appalachian Spring – Aaron Copland (The New York Philharmonic – Conducted by Leonard Bernstein)

The Pretender – Foo Fighters

Fight The Power – Public Enemy

Get Higher – Moonflowers

Lover, You Should Have Come Over – Jeff Buckley

HipHoprisy is the Greatest Luxury – Disposable Heroes of HipHoprisy

State of Independence – Donna Summer

In Paradisum – Gabriel Faure (The Academy of St.Martins In The Fields – Conducted by Sir Neville Marriner)

So What’Cha Want – Beastie Boys

Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You – Led Zeppelin

Slideshow-  Rufus Wainwright

Kansas City – Tom Jones

Chi Il Bel Sogno Di Doretta (from Act 1 of La Rondine) – Kiri Ti Kanawa

For All We Know – Donny Hathaway

The Old Landmark – James Brown (From The Blues Brothers)

Proud Mary – Tina Turner

Let’s Go Crazy  - Prince

Rachmaninov Symphony #2, 3rd Movement (Adagio): (The London Symphony Orchestra - Conducted by Sir Andre Previn)

Wake Up – Rage Against The Machine

The Rhythm of Life – Sammy Davis Jnr (From Sweet Charity)

God Is Tryin’ To Tell You Something – Tata Vega (From The Colour Purple)

Bridge Over Troubled Waters – Aretha Franklin

Mountains – Prince

It’s a culture that makes me want to set my hair on fire and run screaming out of the building I’m housed in at that particular moment. Because a presentation can be – and should be – a momentous experience. Billions of dollars are spent on storytelling in film and television, yet why is it that in business, presentations are treated like a drunken text message to an ex-lover? Poorly written, filled with jibberish and done at the last minute?

Before you enjoy the clip (and it is after all, a lampooning of the problem – but it illustrates my point brilliantly), let me give you an example of the unassailable power of  the live communication experience.

In August 1969, a conference was held to discuss culture at Haverford College in the USA. A young man named Randy Kehler delivered a speech about his current human experience. A member of the audience that day recalled hearing Randy talk – some 40 years later:

“It was though an axe had split my head in two. But what had happened was that my life had been split in two – and it was at that point that my life would never be the same again.”

The member of the audience was Daniel Ellsberg, a corporate analyst who had to that point, dedicated his life and work to the establishment and to maintaining the status quo.

Shortly after hearing that speech, Ellsberg leaked the 74 volumes of a confidential study called The Pentagon Papers to The New York Times and various other news outlets. And The Pentagon Papers were the catalyst for a sequence of events that culminated in the impeachment and resignation of Richard M. Nixon.

Personally, I don’t see any difference in Randy Kehler’s speech back in 1969 – and pitches or presentations that happen every day. A presentation is an experience. A pitch – or presentation –  has outcomes that affect the presenter directly.

To paraphrase the great Aaron Sorkin: “Words, when spoken out loud for the sake of performance …..are music. They have rhythm and pitch and timbre and volume. These are the properties of music and music has the ability to find us and move us and lift us up in ways that literal meaning can’t.”

I take great pride in sticking my neck out on this one, because as far as I know, I missed “the memo” that said that it was mandatory to pitch for business like this clip. Don’t recall seeing it in my contract, either.

So let’s stop doing it like this, shall we, ladies and gentlemen? Agreed? Excellent.

Woman: “So what do you do?”

Man: “I breed Armadillos”

Woman: “Do you enjoy your work?”

Man: “Not especially, but the Armadillos sure get a kick out of it”

Woman: “Is it profitable?”

Man: “Only in the spiritual sense. A wise man once said: “Make an Armadillo smile and the world is your oyster”. At one time I considered breeding oysters. But it just didn’t sound right. “Make an Oyster smile….”

Woman “…. and the world is your Armadillo”

Man: “You see the problem…!”

(Woman gives man a big fat Jamaican style reefer dooby to toke on)

And…..scene….

Now go and BUY, not rent, Blake Edwards’ “S.O.B”

Awesome.

So here it is:

CLOUDS AND RAIN

This is the thing – Fink

Couldn’t love you more – John Martyn

Let it be me – Ray LaMontagne

In a manner of speaking – Nouvelle Vague

Like a star – Corinne Bailey Rae

Wild horses – The Sundays

I like you in velvet – Malcolm McLaren

She moves in secret ways – Polly Paulusma

Running up that hill – Kate Bush

La cienega just smiled – Ryan Adams

Push & Pull – Nikka Costa

Lonesome tears – Beck

By your side – Beachwood Sparks

All the time – Polly Paulusma

I was there – My Broken Frame

If you can’t say no – Lenny Kravitz

Everybody here wants you – Jeff Buckley

House of cards – Radiohead

Up against the wall – Peter, Bjorn and John

To survive – Joan as Police Woman

Pink cashmere – Prince

Please, please, please let me get what I want – The Smiths

Those sweet words – Norah Jones

Northern sky – Nick Drake

Black hole sun – Steve Lawrence & Edie Gorme

Mercy seat – Ultra Vivid Scene

Someday man – The Monkees

I’ll look around – Madeleine Peyroux

Factory – Martha Wainwright

Song to the siren – This Mortal Coil

Black swan – Thom Yorke

Teardrop – Jose Gonzalez

Real love – John Lennon

The frozen man – James Taylor

Season of the witch – Donovan

My country ’tis of thee – Crosby, Stills & Nash

Sea of love – Cat Power

If you see her, say hello – Bob Dylan

Round the bend – Beck

Keep me in your heart – Warren Zevon

Ai du – Ali Farka Toure

No surprises – Radiohead

Slideshow – Rufus Wainwright

Beauty of the dark (Acoustic)- Mads Langer

Black cherry – Goldfrapp

Hey – Pixies

The air that I breathe – KD Lang

Holes – Mercury Rev

Forbidden colours – David Sylvian and Riyuichi Sakamoto

Seems like old times – Diane Keaton (from “Annie Hall”)

White mischief – Penguin Cafe Orchestra

A kissed out red floatboat – Cocteau Twins

For all we know – Donny Hathaway

1. Enrico Palazzo sings the National Anthem

2. Steeeeeriiiiiiiikke! Hey, Hey, Hey Hey!

3. And don’t call me Shirley

4. The Naked Gun Opening Credits

5. The Family Guy Spoof of The Naked Gun Opening Credits

Rest in peace, man. You will be missed.